Nate Holdridge

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Exile Atmosphere -- 1 Peter 4:7-9 -- The Grace Of Exile #21

7 The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. 8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

My Early Days In Christ

My first years of seriously walking with Christ came in Bible College. I was fortunate in that it was not only a learning center but also a loving society. This love was important to me and my new walk with God because I hadn't really experienced Christian friendships or community up to that point. I was a church kid, but the church was something grown-ups loved and that I couldn't relate to, so it was good for me to engage in Christian community on my own.

There were aspects of those early days that refreshed me, three of which are mentioned in our passage today. For instance, I had never spent much time praying, especially with people, up to that point. But while there, I learned to pray. Alone, with others, and at spontaneous moments, I learned to cry out to God about everything and anything. I also learned to love people and grew to appreciate the loving community established there. Everyone was far from perfect, and living together in close quarters provided many challenges, but love helped us form deep bonds and put up with one another. And the hospitality was also refreshing, especially from older staff who would open their homes and lives in an attempt to show us younger believers how to live. They made it clear: they wanted to help us become mature followers of Jesus and his way. They wanted to support us.

I think many Christians love the sound of such a life. We hear Jesus' words -- that his yoke is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:28). We read of the church in the book of Acts, how they loved and served and prayed for each other. And, as life beats down on us, we can't help but think these key relationships might be just what we need to experience Jesus' easy yoke and light burden. Living for Christ in a broken world, faithfully carrying out singleness or marriage God's way, raising children, navigating careers, handling rough family dynamics, anxiety, stresses, pressures, aging, financial pressures -- we need help, and we wonder if other believers can provide it.

But this life of communal prayer, forgiving love, and cheerful hospitality is often in short supply in our modern pace and time. Schedules are full. Responsibilities are endless. Finances are short. We live far from each other. And in our fatigue and lack of any real emotional, financial, or time margin, it is easier to stare at a screen for hours than to pursue Christian relationships. So, for many of us, the kind of experience Peter and the rest of the New Testament describes is a pipe dream. Occasionally, a well-meaning preacher will propose this prayerful, loving, and hospitable community version of life again, but we know he doesn't understand how full and overwhelming life has become.

But the words and life of Jesus persist. He called disciples out of the normal flow of life, and he still does. He still says, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men" (Mark 1:17). He still prioritizes people above all else. He still envisions a beautiful atmosphere of prayer, love, and hospitality.

An Ancient And Accurate Word

Peter had this vision as well. And for a good reason. He said, "The end of all things is at hand" (7). This statement is not random; Peter had been writing about Jesus' resurrection, a resurrection that leads to a final resurrection of his people (3:18, 21, 4:6). He had alluded to the final day of judgment for those who maligned the church (4:5). Peter knew that everyone would give an account for their lives. He knew Jesus would wrap up human history with his return. He knew the final stage had been set. And he believed all this was "at hand".

Brothers and sisters, we live in the last stage of God's redemptive plan. Creation, fall, Abraham's calling, Israel's establishment, Israel's restoration, and all the promises of Israel's prophets -- all of it has occurred. The Son was sent. Jesus took on human flesh. He fulfilled the law that condemned us all as guilty before God. Then he substituted himself for us on the cross. After burial for three days, he rose. He ascended back to the Father, promising to return. All these important movements in the drama of redemption are past tense. Peter, the church he wrote to, and all of us today, are living in the final stage. The end is imminent, which is what Peter meant when he said the end is at hand. It could happen anytime.

A Balanced Perspective

I understand if some of you don't want to agree with Peter. Some of you might be embarrassed by end-times preachers who exposit current events more than they exposit Scripture or who have predicted dates Christ would return. But we shouldn't run from that embarrassment into the arms of a lie. We shouldn't adopt a worldly position that humankind is making progress or must fight for progress to bring on its own utopian world (or at least its survival). Rather than erroneously believe progress will save us, and rather than make predictions about the return of Christ, we should hold fast to the hopeful confidence that we will be delivered by the climactic event of Jesus' return. His return will usher in God's final judgment, his glorious reign, and a new heaven and new earth. Only Jesus can bring the restoration we crave.

How Should We Live?

With this as the backdrop, how should we live? If we are truly in the final stage of God's redemptive plan, what should Christian community and life look like today? If we are, as this letter tells us, exiles and sojourners and pilgrims, temporary residents of a host culture, how do we do life right now? And if, as possessors of the gospel, we are part of the answer to society's ills, how should we live? Peter said:

7 ...therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.

A Prayerful Atmosphere

Vital Prayer

Peter means that our community needs to have a prayerful atmosphere. When living as exiles, when far from our true home with Christ, a home that is at hand but still so far away, we can pray. And, brothers and sisters, we can pray. It is not impossible or beyond us.

I encourage you to pray. When the church is marginalized by society, prayer is of extreme importance. Maybe God will change society as a result of our prayers, but he will certainly change us as we pray. We will become strengthened, emboldened, calmed, focused, and light as we lift our burdens to him.

But prayer is often hard or neglected. I know I wish I prayed more than I do -- especially with others. It can be intimidating to think about what strong, personal, or churchwide prayer life looks like.

But be on guard against lies. On one side, there is the lie that we will never be good at prayer. On the other side, there is the lie that says no one really prays anymore. Neither are true, and both can be used to excuse prayerlessness.

Perhaps you would be helped by being less idealistic about prayer. One way to do that is by planning to pray a little bit more than you do right now. If you currently spend more time brushing your teeth than you do praying to God, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to spend three weeks at a monastery trying to pray. Instead, determine to spend ten minutes each day in prayer before God.

I remember hearing a record-holding weight lifter answer a question about how it felt to lift as much weight as he could lift: What does it feel like to have that much weight on the bar? He responded by asking the reporter how much they could lift, what their maximum effort looked like. He then asked what it felt like for the reporter. Then he said, "It feels just like that." The idea is that he wasn't always that strong. He built up to it. And at each stage of training, he lifted what he could and grew stronger as he did. The same will happen to you if you faithfully add to your prayer life, bit by bit, increment by increment.

We Can Pray!

So let me spend a moment casting a vision for this prayerful atmosphere. Incrementally, I hope we can develop this atmosphere.

First, become a person of prayer on a personal and private level. Philippians 4:6-7 says,

Philippians 4:6–7 (ESV) — 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

You have your own anxieties, reasons you're thankful to God, and requests. Your secret life of prayer will show up in significant ways because, as Jesus said, "Your Father who sees in secret will reward you" (Matthew 6:6).

Pray with your group. Life Groups, Discipleship Groups, Mentoring relationships, and Bible studies are all great places to take time for prayer. When 300 people try to have a prayer meeting together, only a few representatives can pray on behalf of the whole group, but when a group of ten prays together, everyone gets a chance.

Pray with your ministry teams. Before church gatherings or ministry events or life groups, pray with those who are serving with.

Pray with your key relationships. Friends and spouses are great people to pray with because you are closer with them than anyone else, so you can get straight to the point in prayer more quickly.

Pray with others of similar careers. Many of you have unique challenges you have to navigate in your career, and praying with others who share those burdens is life-giving.

Pray spontaneously. Throughout the day, decisions, stresses, or reasons for celebration will come. Paul told us to "pray without ceasing," so speak to God spontaneously all day long.

Pray reflexively when needs arise. When another believer tells you of a difficulty in their lives, commit it to God together in prayer.

Pray for nonbelievers. I do mean to pray for those who don't know Jesus to know Jesus. But I also mean to pray for their needs and pains. When you hear of a difficulty they are facing, ask if you can pray for them, then bring it to your network of Christian friends. Earnestly pray and watch what God does.

A Calm Dependence

All this prayer is meant to be done with self-control and a sober mind (7). The descriptions go together and are meant to indicate a clear-minded and disciplined response to Peter's assertion that "the end of all things is at hand" (7). We aren't supposed to respond to this truth with apathy or panic or bitterness, but with a responsible life. To borrow from Jesus, shouldn't be caught without oil in our lamps (Luke 12:35-43). Instead, we must remain even-keeled and straight thinking, not despite the fact we are in the last stage of God's redemptive plan but because of it. We are confident. We know what's going to happen.

For an example of this calm and prayerful resolve, I think of Daniel. After many years of service in exile in Babylon, a law was passed that no one could pray to anyone but the king for thirty days. Anyone who violated this law had to be thrown into a den of lions. Daniel wasn't about to take a thirty-day break from praying to God, so:

Daniel 6:10 (ESV) — 10 ...he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.

Despite danger, Daniel calmly prayed. He knew God's kingdom would last forever, and it impacted the way he conducted himself.

A Loving Atmosphere

But Peter also wanted the church to develop a loving atmosphere. He said:

8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

A Life Of Christian Love

Love is the priority attribute of a good church. The fruit of the Spirit is love and more, but where the Spirit is, love is (Galatians 5:22). 1 Corinthians 13:13 says:

1 Corinthians 13:13 (ESV) — 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Love is especially important when the church is out of favor with society at large. With a loving atmosphere in here, we can endure a whole lot of difficulty out there. When a believer moves to a new area, they will often look for a good church by finding one with good preaching, worship, or kids' ministry. Each of those elements can form a great weekly gathering, but without love, without a sharing of life together, the church will not form the alternative community and society they are meant to form. We are so much more than a big gathering of people once a week, but a community meant to love and serve each other throughout the week.

With Persistence

Peter highlighted the importance of love in a few ways. Peter said we should love one another (8). This doesn't mean we shouldn't love the nonbelieving world. But it does mean other believers have a special place in your heart, prayer, and life.

He also said we should do this above all else (8).

And he also said we must love one another earnestly (8). The word Peter used is one they would use to describe the stretched-out muscles of someone sprinting in a race. Peter envisions max-effort love.

It seems good to acknowledge the work and effort required to form a truly loving Christian community. To partake in the lives of others takes time. It takes effort. But it is important.

When in Lake Tahoe, my kids persecute me for how little I want to be in the water. But once I'm ready to get in, there's only one way. Jump all the way in! One cannot forever exist on the fringe of a gathering of believers and expect good things to happen. Don't forever toe the water. Eventually, you must jump into relationships with others.

A Grace-Filled Community

When a group loves this way -- with persistence, earnestly -- they create a community that covers a multitude of sins (8). This is likely a loose quotation of Proverbs 10:12, but what does Peter mean? How does our love for one another cover a multitude of sins?

Not theologically. Peter does not mean that our love can atone or cleanse or forgive our sins before God. You cannot love someone so well that you earn God's forgiveness.

Nor is Peter talking about ignorance or denial or the justification of sin, especially ones that immediately endanger others. If someone is in danger of being harmed, the perpetrator's actions should be exposed. And this should not be taken as an excuse for church scandal. Nor should it be taken as justification for avoiding clear sins in others that need to be lovingly confronted.

What Peter means is that the intensity of our love for one another helps us socially. Our love for one another can help us deal with warts and imperfections in others and can help them deal with ours.

Do you ever have moments where you get a frighteningly clear picture of what it's like for people to deal with your worst self? Sometimes I do. For instance, in my house, I am the "Dishwasher Dictator." In my mind, everyone knows the precise way a dishwasher ought to be loaded. And crusted on food particles that haven't been rinsed off properly do not evade my inspection. And, sometimes, I think my children enjoy listening to my diatribes about proper dishwasher etiquette. Then, at other times, I hear myself and think, "Wow. You're tons of fun." I'm so glad they love me.

Love is important to Peter because it covers a multitude of sins. And Peter must think we have a multitude of sins that need to be covered. It's nice that Jesus forgave them, but we must tolerate and put up with them. We are bound to mistreat and mistake and struggle through relationships. But a solid community of believers, living with the end at hand, loves each other well. And that love helps us deal with faults, sins, and imperfections.

Unlike Culture

During our cultural moment, isn't there something refreshing about a love that covers sins? Grace and mercy are in short supply these days. For many, the idea of being in a community is that every slight offense must be addressed, or the offender must be avoided at all costs, but Peter says we must (above all) love one another earnestly. Confrontation or avoidance aren't the only answers; there is also love so intense that it is able to cover and deal with sin. This love takes the forgiveness Christ offers, applies it to the offense and offender, and moves on. Powerful.

This brand of love is important when forming a Christian community that has to live as exiles in their society. We are bound to have a billion differing perspectives and backgrounds among us. But love helps us overcome our differences. Refreshing.

A Hospitable Atmosphere

Finally, Peter tells us we must have a hospitable atmosphere. He said:

9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Catch A Vision For Hospitality

It is important for all of us to catch a vision for hospitality and its importance in the age to come. Some have called hospitality the foundation of the Christian movement, the key strategy that has enabled gospel expansion and gospel living.

Jesus opened up his life for us. He prepares a forever home for us. Let's emulate Jesus by opening our lives and homes to other believers in our sphere of influence. This is especially important when the church is marginalized because we will need safe places of refuge and rest. We will need each other.

Defined

But what did hospitality mean to Peter and these early Christians? Did Peter envision coffee cake, housewarming gifts, and smooth jazz playing in the background? Did he envision hours of prep work in an attempt to create an immaculate space to give others a two-hour glimpse into our immaculate lives? Not at all.

Many scholars think that early Christian hospitality centered around Christian missionaries who often needed accommodations as they traveled. Lodging, especially at inns, was often too expensive, had a bad reputation, and was often unavailable anyway. But believers could open their homes to these traveling evangelists, joining God's mission by helping the missionary.

If true, then hospitality has something to do with advancing the kingdom. And while it is still good for us to open our homes to traveling gospel workers, perhaps our application of hospitality will be different. Perhaps we should be creative about using our homes and lives to advance the kingdom.

What does this mean for us? How can we use our homes for gospel advancement in our era? Or, considering how their hospitality was meant to address a problem, what problems can our hospitality address?

As I already said, our hospitality can provide a place of refuge for struggling Christians. We are in exile. This world is not our home. This can cause despair or loneliness or fatigue or fear, and hospitality can help ease these burdens.

Imagine a believing man working in an environment where coworkers boast all day long about their sexual conquests and pass inappropriate pictures around to others. All-day, temptation and defilement and frustration washes over him. At the end of the day, going somewhere other like-minded believers are could be a source of great encouragement.

Our homes and lives and coffee shops and hiking trails can be sources of hospitality, helping people find the refuge they need from a painful and hostile world.

But our hospitality can also produce disciples. Refuge is great, but many believers have never been closely exposed to healthy men, women, or families. We need models to follow. To open your home is a way to open your life. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And hospitality can provide a bunch of pictures of who you are and how you've built your life.

And our hospitality can also be a source of evangelism. It can make the big, scary Christian become approachable. At your dining room table, you can help someone discover that believers aren't everything we are portrayed to be in the movies or on the news.

Without Grumbling

In a sense, all this takes work and planning. You can't just add this to your life without first subtracting something else.

But, in another sense, you can just add this to your life. You're going to eat food, watch shows, read books, go grocery shopping, with or without others. Try doing more of these things with others. Go low prep and hang out with people.

And this takes a correct attitude. Peter said we must show hospitality to one another without grumbling (9). Peter knows this kind of hospitality will cost us, so he gives us an attitude check. We have to get over our inconveniences and pursue one another.

Concluding Applications

  1. Ask yourself, "Do I react to the knowledge 'the end of all things is at hand' with anything other than self-controlled and sober-minded prayer?
  2. Assess your current prayer routines and find a way to incrementally improve them.
  3. Start a weekly prayer meeting with people you know.
  4. Ask yourself, "Have I avoided other Christians in my everyday life because it isn't working for me?" Resist this "love-connection" mentality and push through it.
  5. Identify areas you might have been too easily offended by another believer.
  6. Host a life group or discipleship group in your house, apartment, bedroom, office space, or local coffee shop.
  7. Assess your current schedule and find ways to include believers in things you already do.