Teaching passages like Proverbs 6:20-7:27 requires discernment, especially when speaking, as many pastors do, to multi-generational churches filled with men and women who have experienced varying degrees of sexual brokenness. As I said in our teaching on Proverbs 5, teaching passages like this one requires discernment because every one of us sits here today with some measure of sexual brokenness. We’ve all been impacted by humanity’s fall into sin, which darkened not only our hearts but our understanding of sexuality (see Gen. 3). Most of us have seen things, done things, or had things done to us that have distorted our vision of sex. And for some, the ugliest side of sexual sin—abuse—adds layers of pain. So, when Scripture speaks on these topics, it can trigger anger, grief, or regret.
Some of us see the fact this is a sensitive subject as evidence it is a vital one God must speak into, but some of us still wonder why God seems to care so much about our sex lives. Proverbs brings it up repeatedly—and so does the rest of Scripture. Paul wrote, “This is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality” (1 Thess. 4:3). He told the Corinthians, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body” (1 Cor. 6:13), and warned that sexual sin uniquely violates the body as a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19). Jesus declared an intense standard: “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28). Hebrews 13:4 urges believers to honor marriage and keep the marriage bed undefiled, warning that “God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Far from being indifferent, God consistently presents a sexual ethic rooted in holiness, covenant faithfulness, and Christlike transformation—“a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works” (Titus 2:14).
So why does this come up so often in Proverbs—and all of Scripture? I think we could list thirty or forty reasons, but here are two.
First, sex carries weighty spiritual significance. In the Old Testament, Israel’s unfaithfulness to Yahweh is often portrayed as marital betrayal. Throughout the Old Testament, Israel was repeatedly unfaithful to their covenant with Yahweh, and God prophets depicted this as marital infidelity. One of the most striking examples is the story of Hosea and Gomer. Hosea the prophet married a woman who was extremely unfaithful to him, to the point of prostitution, and her repeated adultery against Hosea was a living illustration of Israel's ongoing rebellion against God. Sexual unfaithfulness is a powerful metaphor for spiritual unfaithfulness—but the connection runs deeper than symbolism. Scripture shows that sexual sin often leads to—or is a significant step into—spiritual decline. It is a major way God's people spoil their appetite for God. This is why these themes appear so often in the Old Testament—not only because sex is a vivid picture of covenant loyalty, but because unrestrained sexual sin often becomes a gateway to spiritual malaise.
A second reason this subject comes up so often in Scripture is that sex leads to massive outcomes. You will either view sex as a means of personal expression or as something God designed for specific purposes. Since Christians acknowledge God as our Creator, we believe sexuality is woven into our identity as image bearers—that God has a design for it, and that how we treat sex carries profound consequences, either for flourishing or for harm. We also believe he created us for something far greater than sex. It grieves our Creator's heart when we take this beautiful gift and make it ultimate—when we replace the Creator with his creation—taking something he made and replacing him with it. Sex is a wonderful invention but a terrible god—so the true God offers wise, loving guidance to help us live in step with the good laws that govern his creation.
Both of these reasons shout loudly within our passage today. The father wants his sons to hear his words lest their hearts drift from Yahweh, which would make them susceptible to the temptation of sexual sin, which would make them experience the harsh ramifications of adultery that are embedded in God's created order.
These warnings are not just for young men—they are for everyone. Proverbs as a whole honors women: Woman Wisdom is the central figure; a mother helps shape the instruction in this very passage; wisdom is equated with a sister (7:4); and Proverbs ends with a real woman—strong, capable, and wise—who embodies the book’s vision. While Proverbs 6–7 warns a son about a predatory woman, the entire book does not ignore that men are more often the aggressors in real life. The reason the young man is addressed this way here is he is being encouraged to stay on the wise path—and sexual temptation is one of the main threats to that path.
So what do we do with this today? How does God want to shape our hearts through this warning?
1. Main Lesson: Get A Wisdom-Formed Heart
The main lesson of this entire passage is that we would get wisdom-formed hearts, especially when it comes to the subject of sex. Throughout this passage, the father and mother desperately want their sons to allow their hearts to be shaped by wisdom. They want to form the way their sons think—and more than that, the way their sons love. Their concern is the world of temptation their sons are walking into—especially sexual temptation. And central to their concern is a war of words.
The father knows his sons will hear two competing voices. One voice is that of the forbidden woman, speaking with a smooth tongue (6:24) and smooth words (7:5) and utilizing smooth talk (7:21). She’s persuasive. She’s compelling. And the longest section of this entire passage is a record of what she says to the young man (7:13).
Her voice is like the constant barrage of enemy fire in our modern time. Her seductive whisper continues today. Through thousands of mediums, she beckons God's people to deny their faithfulness to Yahweh and enter into her pleasures. She calls out through pop lyrics, curated social media posts, suggestive reels, explicit novels, attention-grabbing ads, and romanticized fantasies in seemingly innocent films. Her voice is everywhere—and often successful.
To combat her voice, the parents offer another voice. The father holds out his commandment; the mother holds out her teaching (6:20). They also deliver discipline (6:23) and words (7:1), and plead: “Keep them as the apple of your eye” (7:2). In other words: treasure them like your body reflexively treasures your eyesight—protect this wisdom, guard this wisdom, hold this wisdom dear. And the father concluded his diatribe with one last cry: "O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth" (7:24).
The parents' words are presented as carrying the weight of divine law. Their commandments and teachings come from the Hebrew words Torah and Shema, recognizable as the words Israel used to speak of God's words. The language here—bind them on your heart, tie them around your neck—comes straight from Deuteronomy and is what Israel was told to do with God’s law.
The father is saying, “Treat my words like God’s Word,” because they are rooted in God’s Word. It's interesting that he doesn’t just say, “Don’t give in to her because the Bible says it’s a sin.” He says, “Don’t go to her—it will ruin your life. It might even end it.” This is scripture-fueled wisdom at work: “This is how God made the world, son. Walk in it—or get crushed by it.”
This is why the parents urged their boys to get that wisdom deep into their hearts. If they did bind it to their hearts, tie it to their necks, and bind it to their hands, then wisdom would guard their lives (6:21, 7:3). Wisdom was supposed to become like a close sister or intimate friend—these are Old Testament terms of relational closeness (7:4).
If we stand any chance at all to stand against the voices that will inevitably try to pull us into death-inducing decisions, we must have another dominant voice within. The problem is we don’t naturally have wisdom-formed hearts, but this is where the New Covenant comes in. God promised, “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you" (Ezek. 36:26). That promise was fulfilled through Christ. Jesus not only forgives our sin—he renews our affections. He writes his law on our hearts (Jer. 31:33). He gives us the Spirit to form us from the inside out.
So yes, the father tells his sons to write wisdom on the tablet of their hearts, and those of us in Christ Jesus are especially equipped to follow his advice. We must take these new hearts and feed them. The question is: what are you feeding your heart? What voice are you listening to? The forbidden woman still speaks. And she’s louder than ever. That’s why we must daily hear another voice—the voice of God. Not only in Scripture reading but also in prayer, in community, in worship, and in quiet reflection. You don’t drift into wisdom. You cultivate it.
It’s like pre-installed antivirus software—loaded onto the system before the malware ever arrives. It’s like dashboard warning lights, which are able to alert you to trouble before damage is done. But none of that works if the wisdom hasn’t already been embedded. So bind it now. Write it on your heart—feed it before temptation comes. Let the voice of God shape your loves—that’s a wisdom-formed heart.
2. Dissect and Analyze Temptation
This entire passage also offers us an opportunity to dissect and analyze temptation. How does it work? What are its steps? Why is it effective? For this, the father takes his sons on an imaginary field trip to observe temptation. This father took them on a simulated combat exercise so they would be prepared for the battlefield that awaited them. Then he broke down the slow-motion replay of everything that went wrong, all so that his sons could walk in wisdom. Let's join them. What can we learn about temptation from this passage?
First, temptation seeks to fill the void where wisdom is absent (6:20-32; 7:1-3). If we do not bind God's wisdom to our hearts or write it on our hearts, we will become more susceptible to temptation's voice. Without that internalized wisdom, our hearts become directionless—open to the inevitable attractive offers that pass by. We already noted Proverbs 4:23, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." In other words, what fills your heart will shape your future. A wisdom-formed heart is the first and strongest defense against temptation.
Second, temptation thrives in specific environments (7:6-9). The father describes the simple young man out at night (twilight, evening, darkness, 7:9). He decided to pass along the street on the road to her house (7:8). These are not innocent details. The young man chose to go near the place he shouldn't. We all have environments that weaken us—physical locations, mental locations, and emotional locations that we must avoid. The wife begins to wonder, What would life be like if I hadn't married? The addict starts to think, Would that street-legal substance do the trick? The young man thinks, What is her Instagram account like? Soon, because we've gone to the wrong places, we are weakened.
Third, temptation has a hidden agenda. The woman comes to the man, "dressed like a prostitute, wily of heart" (7:10). This means she came with craftiness—she's got another goal than the one her outfit suggests. Temptation often appears attractive when it arrives, but underneath all that beauty is destruction. There's a hook behind that bait.
Fourth, temptation appeals to flattery and ego (7:13-15). The forbidden woman grabs the man and kisses him. "I came out to meet and find you. I need you." Suddenly he feels chosen, special, seen. And that’s all temptation needs. Temptation often finds traction in our loneliness or our need for affirmation. It whispers: You deserve this. No one else understands you. This is just for you.
Fifth, temptation often wears a cloak of spirituality (7:14). The woman talked of sacrifices and vows, as if she was a godly person who was only inviting him over for a time of "fellowship." Temptation loves to sell us spiritual compartmentalization—where we balance sin with church attendance, Bible reading, or giving. But just because they can quote Bible verses, look really spiritual, and spout off good doctrine doesn’t mean they are the real deal. The Bible teaches that Satan and his demons can do all those things (Matt. 4:6; 2 Cor. 11:13–15; James 2:19).
Sixth, temptation appeals to the imagination and senses (7:15-18). She got all descriptive on him. The good sheets (Egyptian linen, 7:16). Spa day (myrrh, aloes, cinnamon, 7:17). Aroma therapy (perfumed my bed, 7:17). Guaranteed all-night pleasure (fill of love until morning, 7:18). Girl be singing Mariah Carey's "Fantasy" or Taylor Swift's "...Ready For It?"—she's doing everything she can to get him daydreaming about life with her. That’s how temptation works. It doesn’t just attack the body—it captures the inner world. It creates a story, a mood, a moment where pleasure is easy, and consequences don’t exist. But it’s a lie. A powerful, emotionally immersive lie.
Seventh, temptation lies about the consequences. The woman tells him, "My husband is not at home. He's on a long business trip. He's not coming home until next month" (7:19-20). Translation: No one will know. Nothing bad will happen. This is going to work out. But you can't carry fire next to your chest or walk on hot coals without getting burned (6:27-28). Like an ox to the slaughter, a deer in a trap, or a bird in a snare, temptation is aiming to take your life (7:22-27). It feels like freedom, but it's fatal. Temptation's ultimate goal is our emotional death, relational death, spiritual death, and even physical death. It isn't aiming for your current moment—it's aiming for your future.
What should we do with this autopsy of temptation? Know the tactics. This passage is like game film—it shows us the slow drift before the sudden fall. Temptation is not creative—it makes the same moves over and over again: isolate our hearts from wisdom, lure us to dangerous spaces, mask the hook with beauty, whisper to the ego, dress up in spirituality, fire up the imagination, downplay the consequences, and strike when resistance is weak. So we must be aware. If you know what to expect, you’re less likely to be surprised. So dissect it. Analyze it. Name it. Call it what it is. That’s wisdom. Knowing the enemy’s moves one way we resist.
3. Ask a Question
Finally, I want to close by encouraging all of us to ask this question: What does it look like to live in up to our newness in Christ? Proverbs is powerful on its own, but its wisdom becomes even more potent when paired with the richness of the gospel. This passage shows us the kind of life that flows from being born again and filled with God’s Spirit—a life where Jesus leads us toward real victory over sexual temptation by reshaping our inner desires to reflect his.
If we answer that question (what does it look like to live up to our newness in Christ?) that way (victory over temptation), it means we won't make an idol of authenticity. Our culture has canonized the idea that the truest thing you can do is follow your desires. “Be true to yourself.” “Live your truth.” But this passage warns against that very impulse: “Do not desire her beauty in your heart” (6:25). In other words, just because you want something doesn’t mean it’s good. That desire may be leading you to destruction, so do not cultivate it within your heart.
I know you probably dislike the idea of fake people, but the truth of the Christian life is that a fair amount of faking is required. I know the idea of “faking it” probably sounds wrong—especially in a culture that prizes authenticity. But in the Christian life, a certain kind of “faking it” is actually faith. Not hypocrisy, where we pretend to be something we’re not—but faithfulness, where we live in line with who we are in Christ, even when we don’t feel it yet.
That’s why Paul tells us to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 13:14). He says to “put on the new self” (Colossians 3:10), to “put on compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12). We’re not being fake—we’re dressing like our new identity, even as we grow into it.
Feelings follow formation. Sometimes we live out of sync with how we feel. That’s not inauthenticity—it’s maturity. Real integrity is choosing to live in alignment with what’s true, even when it’s hard. That’s walking by faith, not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7).
This question—what does it look like to live up to our newness in Christ?—also keeps us from sentimentalizing brokenness. Yes, this passage describes the painful consequences of sin—“wounds and dishonor” lead to a “disgrace that will not be wiped away” (6:33). But it never celebrates brokenness. It doesn’t make it the goal or turn it into an identity. It doesn’t say, “You’re wounded, so just live wounded.” It says, “Here’s a warning. Don’t go down that path.”
And to live in that rescue, we must have a robust gospel. Many Christians need to be saved from their salvation. They’ve settled for a gospel that stops at forgiveness as if repentance is a quick transaction and grace is just a pass. But Christ came to do so much more than forgive. Forgiveness is essential—it’s massive—but it’s not the whole story. He didn’t just come to erase our past but to re-create our future (2 Cor. 5:17).
The gospel is not a loophole—it’s an all-consuming fire designed to change everything (Heb. 12:29). It gives us a new heart (Ezek. 36:26), new desires (Gal. 5:24), and a new life (Rom. 6:4). Christ came to unite us to himself (John 17:21; Gal. 2:20)—to make us whole, holy, and wholly his (Titus 2:14; Ephesians 1:4). He came not just to remove the guilt of sin, but to break its power (Rom. 6:6). He didn't come just to get us into heaven, but to get heaven into us—to fill us with the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:11), conform us to his image (Rom. 8:29), and make us partakers of the divine nature (2 Pet. 1:4). Jesus came to bring us into the life of God—to know the Father (John 17:3), walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16), and be conformed to the Son (Rom. 8:29). The gospel isn’t just a message of pardon—it’s a message of power (Rom. 1:16). Power to change. Power to walk in the light (1 John 1:7). Power to become who we are meant to be (Eph. 2:10). Forgiveness is just the beginning. Transformation is the goal (2 Cor. 3:18).
So let’s ask the question: Are we living like people made new? Let’s not follow our hearts into ruin—but let the Spirit lead us into the life that is truly life.
Study Questions**
HEAD (Knowledge & Understanding):
What patterns or tactics of temptation stood out to you in the father's "field trip" account?
According to Proverbs 6–7, what is the primary protection against sexual temptation (and all temptation)?
HEART (Desires, Impressions, Feelings):
What are sources of some of the loudest voices of tempation in your life right now?
How does it feel to you be called to put off the flesh and put on Christ? Does it feel too much like faking it?
Do you have a vision for the redeemed and victorious person Christ has remade you to become?
HANDS (Actions, Commitments, Beliefs):
What’s one practice you can commit to this week to feed your heart with wisdom?
Are there any environments you need to intentionally remove yourself from, mentally or physically?