When Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to Mary Magdalene, he told her, "Go to my brothers and say to them, 'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God,'" because that was precisely what he had accomplished through his death and resurrection (John 20:17). He had made it possible for human beings who believe in him to become children of God. When we turn to and trust Christ we are born again, given new hearts, and brought into God's family.

It is with these new hearts that we embark on the lifelong journey of transformation. God has become our Father, and as our Father, he knows what all good parents know—every parent understands that various factors shape and form their children. Forces outside the family structure, such as friends, culture, habits, and media, continually mold and reform us—not just in childhood but throughout life. None of us develop our convictions, conclusions, or habits in isolation.

Because of this, Solomon passionately urged his children and students to embrace wisdom, and, in Proverbs 4, he posed a crucial question: What is forming you?

Some kind of wisdom claim is forming you. In other words, wisdom and truth claims are made around us all the time, and each of us chooses who we will admire and imitate. You might look up to Mother Teresa, you might look up to the Kardashians—either is going to influence you to behave in specific ways. What kind of wisdom are you drawn to? What is its source?
Some kind of path is forming you. In other words, every one of us has developed habits and patterns that become a path. Your morning may start with 100 pushups or a cigarette—either way, it’s shaping your future. What direction have you chosen? What repeated steps are you taking today that essentially guarantee what you will do tomorrow?
Some kind of influence is forming you. In other words, the places you go, the things you do, the stuff you see, and the things you hear all impact you. You might spend your time reading good books, or you might spend it looking at inappropriate content online—either one is going to impact your heart. What are you inviting into your heart? What is shaping your thoughts, desires, and decisions?

These are the questions of Proverbs 4: What is forming you?

What wisdom? What path? What influences? What is forming you?

1. What Wisdom? (4:1-9)

1 Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, 2 for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. 3 When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. 5 Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. 6 Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you. 7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. 8 Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. 9 She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.”

This speech, like many in Proverbs, highlights the blessings of a life centered on God’s wisdom. It brings insight (4:1), protection (4:6), honor (4:8), and beauty (graceful garland, beautiful crown, 4:9). Most importantly, it leads to true life (4:4). These reminders are crucial in a world that falsely equates real living with youth, wealth, relationships, or status. Solomon redirects us to what truly blesses and sustains. In a culture saturated with empty promises, his wisdom remains a timeless alternative. Yet, for all its beauty, this speech echoes many others in Proverbs.

There is a unique feature to this speech, however: it is an appeal to generational wisdom. Solomon recalls learning from his father, David, who passed down time-tested truths (4:1-4). Young people can easily forget that their parents had parents, so Solomon appeals to the multigenerational wisdom from God as a way to remind his sons that his wisdom is nothing new. It is ancient. It is traditional. There is nothing faddish, temporary, or fleeting about his precepts. He knew this wisdom worked and would produce the life he described. It was time-tested, forged in the furnace of life, able to aid his sons if they only adhered to it.

We live in a time, however, when traditional sources of wisdom have become suspect, and many have detached themselves from their historical roots.[^1] G.K. Chesterton implored us to turn to our wisest historical roots, however, and called this “the democracy of the dead”—giving a voice to those who have gone before us.[^2] As believers, we must look back to the godly voices of the past—whether they be blood relatives or not—for wisdom on how to live today. Since the time of Christ two thousand years ago, many generations of Christians have given us holy insights and have stood as illuminating champions of the faith. As we tick back through time, we must celebrate these heroes because they have run their race and received their crown. Too many of us are building our lives and values off of voices that are new, shallow, and fleeting. For this, Solomon implores his son to listen to the generational wisdom of God.

What wisdom is shaping you? Is it rich, ancient, historically faithful, and biblical Christian wisdom? That wisdom is worth any price. Solomon says we should get that wisdom; "get" comes from a Hebrew word that implies there is a cost or investment (4:5). Are you paying the price to acquire wisdom? Practical ways to acquire it include reading Scripture deeply, learning from wise believers, and engaging with solid theological works. As Dallas Willard once wrote, "We need to understand those who have learned how to live with a transformed mind and study carefully what they did—not necessarily in order to do exactly what they did, for they are not lawgivers, nor are they always right, much less perfect. But we cannot easily or wisely dispense with what they have learned and what can be learned from them.”[^3]

As believers we need to turn to Jesus for ultimate wisdom. He is the embodiment of human perfection and glory. He shows us the way. And he is often counter to the narratives and values our culture preaches to us in thousands of mediums all day long. We must look to the biblical Christ (as opposed to our recasting of him in an image we like). Stay in the gospels. Meditate on him. He is wisdom.

As an aside, if a modern parent wanted to embark on the journey of passing down godly wisdom to their children (or if a modern believer wanted to pass down wisdom to a younger Christian), what should they do?

First, they must make sure their wisdom is saturated with the truth of Scripture. We want our traditions and values to be Bible-soaked, so we must, in an ongoing way, pursue God's wisdom.
Second, they must use their words (4:3). Solomon was not bashful about telling his son to listen to him. He was forward and truthful—he was not a timid parent or insecure teacher.
Third, their words should prove themselves in their own life (20:7). Young people have hypocrisy radar installed at birth, and it becomes high-functioning in the teenage and young adult years, so they don't do well with the "do as I say, not as I do" approach to wisdom. For instance, you can't tell your child to be a church person when you're not a church person—they won't receive it.
Fourth, they must cherish their child, and their child must know they are cherished. Solomon recalled how his father and mother were tender with him as if he were the only one in their eyes (4:3). You stand a better chance at getting biblical points and wise principles across if your child feels loved and safe with you.
Finally, they must embrace God's grace. There are no perfect parents. In fact, Solomon's parents were David and Bathsheba! Talk about a terrible and unholy start to a relationship, but through repentance, work, and time, they once again became wise and godly, able to instruct their son.

2. What Path? (4:10-19)

10 Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many. 11 I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness. 12 When you walk, your step will not be hampered, and if you run, you will not stumble. 13 Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life. 14 Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. 15 Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. 16 For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble. 17 For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence. 18 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. 19 The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.

Solomon presents two paths—the path of righteousness and the way of evil (4:11, 15). Proverbs urges us to embrace the good path, making it clear there is no middle ground between wisdom and wickedness. Many seek a compromise, allowing parts of life to follow God’s wisdom while holding onto self-rule elsewhere. But Solomon rejects this notion—there are just two options: a journey with God or a journey without him.

The myth of a middle way deceives many. Christ calls us to die to self, but we resist, letting him shape some areas of our lives while keeping others under our control. Yet Solomon presents only two paths—we are either all-in or all-out on God’s wisdom, and the results reveal our choice. Progress without major stumbling is evidence we are on the good path, while addiction to wrongdoing (cannot sleep unless they have done wrong, 16), exploiting others (robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble, 16), or direct harm of others (eat the bread of wickedness, drink the wine of violence, 17) signal we have been formed by the bad path.

By staying on these paths, their outcomes become clearer. The wrong path leads into deep darkness (4:19), where sin becomes compulsive and blinding. Soon, one cannot see the obvious connections between their actions and their misery. Debt is never linked to greed. Sexually transmitted disease is never attributed to immorality. Anxiety is never attributed to excessive screen time. The unwise and wicked path is one that blinds over time.

In contrast, the wise path grows brighter and brighter until full day (4:18). Like the rising sun, wisdom brings increasing clarity, never fading. Those who walk it see themselves and their sins more clearly, leading to transformation (2 Cor. 3:18). Over time, each path shapes a person—for better or worse.

Consider God’s wisdom on Christian friendship. We are meant to know and be known—it is not good to be alone (Gen. 2:18). “Iron sharpens iron” (Prov. 27:17), and we must meet together to encourage one another (Heb. 10:25). Bearing burdens fulfills Christ’s law of love (Gal. 6:2). Yet, those who isolate themselves reject sound judgment (Prov. 18:1). Ignoring this wisdom leads someone into darkness, where no one speaks truth into their lives. Over time, self-deception grows. Soon, they aren't proud, just confident; they aren't abrasive, just direct; they aren't greedy, just savvy in financial affairs; they aren't critical, just discerning; they aren't discouraging, just real. Darkness.

So consider the path you are on. I recently spoke with an older friend in Christ whom I greatly admire. He and his wife are spending their retirement making disciples, mentoring younger believers, and serving those in need. As he shared the opportunities before them, I realized that it was all the culmination of the path they had chosen many years earlier. Because they'd gotten on the path of love and sacrifice, rather than the path of self-love and selfishness, their path had blossomed into one beautiful opportunity after another. None of it was new. All of it started many years ago, and the path they were on carried them to today.

As a diagnostic, it is healthy for us to consider the pathway of all our actions. If we are over-consuming something today—food, video games, social media, alcohol—what will it turn into in future years? If we are following Christ today—serving, generous, in the word and prayer—what will that turn into in the years to come? If we give ourselves to Christian fellowship, spiritual advice, and honest relationships with wise believers, what will that develop in our lives? I would encourage you to, as we move through Proverbs, take inventory of the big categories and habits of your life. They are the paths you are on, for good or bad, and are taking you somewhere.

The good news in Christ is that with his strength, we can get off the wrong path and start afresh with him. However, because a groove becomes a rut, which becomes a grave, we will really need to press into his power to get out of the wrong groove before it's too late.

3. What Influences? (4:20-27)

20 My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. 21 Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. 22 For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh. 23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. 24 Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you. 25 Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. 26 Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. 27 Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.

This speech could be called "the anatomy of discipleship" because of the way the entire body—ears, eyes, flesh, feet—is involved in shaping the heart motivations that drive us to do what we do (4:23).[^4]

At the center of this anatomical exhortation, Solomon said, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life" (4:23). In Hebrew thought, the heart is not just the seat of emotions, but the core of one’s being—thoughts, desires, and will. It speaks of the internal drives we all possess, the central control of life. Here, Solomon tells his son that his heart must be kept, guarded, defended, and preserved.

Solomon understood that while the heart directs our actions, our actions also shape the heart. Just as the voices we hear and the paths we choose form us, so do the things we engage with daily—what we listen to, what we watch, what we say, where we go. All of it shapes the heart. So, we must intentionally guard our hearts, recognizing that every habit, decision, and exposure influences who we become. Over time, these influences gain momentum, subtly directing our lives. The world says, “Follow your heart.” Solomon would counter, “You already are, and you definitely will—so shape it wisely.”

This concept requires some introspection. Are you keeping your heart with all vigilance? Are you cautious about what you see and hear, do and say? Are you pumping garbage into your eye and ear gates without understanding how it is deforming you? Or are you going to holy spaces to do holy things, allowing them to reform you more into Christ's image?

To help you keep your heart, here are a few best practices:

Make Scriptural study a constant part of your life (be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings, 4:20).
Be careful who you spend time listening to (Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you, 4:24).
Stay focused on good things (Let them not escape your sight, 4:21; Let your eyes look directly forward, 4:25)
Contemplate the destination of your path, evaluate life's direction, and make course corrections if needed (ponder the path of your feet, 4:26-27).

The condition of the heart is crucial. Too often, we expose ourselves to influences that distort it, not in an attempt to reject legalism or a partake of liberty, but simply out of poor wisdom. Garbage in, garbage out. Yet, in Christ, we are given new hearts and called to put the old one to death (Ezek. 36:26; 2 Cor. 5:17; Col. 3:5). Since the heart is the wellspring of life, whatever fills it will shape our thoughts, words, and actions. When we store up godly wisdom and truth, our lives reflect Christ. But if we allow in corruption, deceit, or sin, those things will inevitably flow out instead. As Jesus said, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good… for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). Let’s be a people who direct our hearts—and our bodies—toward what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8).

I don't think I can give a message about what shapes us without talking about the modern phone. Solomon told us to keep our hearts with all vigilance, but phones so often shape the hearts of believers in negative directions. I'm sure the last thing we need is another Luddite telling us our technology is killing us, but it cannot be a coincidence that people don't read serious books, aren't as good at critical thinking, feel more lonely and anxious, or can't carry on a linear conversation as well as they could before the modern phone became ubiquitous. I think everything from rapid onset gender dysphoria to gambling addictions to pornography to covetousness and greed is worsened because of these devices of ours. Like the horse, they can be excellent tools and hacks for life if we harness them. But unlike a horse, they will destroy us if we let them run free.

Conclusion

So what is forming you? What wisdom, what path, and what influences are steadily shaping you over time?

As a young man, Daniel was taken from Israel as a captive to Babylon, the Babylonians tried to reshape him in various ways. They gave him a new Babylonian name, educated him in their Babylonian schools, and offered him the best of Babylonian culture, all in an attempt to reform his entire worldview and heart. But Daniel resisted.

Daniel looked to the right wisdom. Rather than admire all the successful and glamorous people in the wealthy Babylonian empire, he fixated on God's wisdom as revealed in his word.

Daniel practiced the right path. Rather than bow down to idols and follow the course of pledging allegiance to the powerful Nebuchadnezzar, he prayed towards God's house in Jerusalem three times each day.

Daniel guarded his heart. Rather than defile himself with forbidden food and luxury, he kept himself from anything God considered unclean.

Daniel’s story shows that the wisdom we embrace, the path we walk, and the influences we allow into our lives will form us over time. His Babylonian captors could change his name, educate him in their ways, and surround him with their culture, but they could not shape his heart—because his heart was already formed by the wisdom of God.

So, what is forming you? What wisdom do you seek? What path are you walking? Who or what is influencing your heart? Like Daniel, may we be people who resolve to be shaped by God’s wisdom rather than the fleeting influences of our world.

[^1]: Systematic Theology, Erickson

[^2]: G.K. Chesterton, cited by Ortland

[^3]:Willard, Renovation of the Heart

[^4]:Waltke and De Silva

Study Questions

Head (Knowledge, Facts, Understanding)

1. According to Proverbs 4, what are the three key factors that shape a person’s life? How does Solomon describe their influence?

2. What does Proverbs 4:7 mean when it says, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom”? How does this relate to Proverbs 1:7?

3. How did Daniel resist Babylonian influence, and what biblical principles can we learn from his response?

Heart (Feelings, Impressions, Desires)

4. When you reflect on your own life, what sources of wisdom have shaped you the most? How do you feel about the influences that have formed you?

5. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” What emotions or thoughts does this verse stir in you? How does it challenge you?

6. Have you ever felt the tension between following God’s wisdom and conforming to cultural influences? How did it impact your faith?

Hands (Actions, Commitments, Decisions, Beliefs)

7. What specific steps can you take this week to filter out negative influences and intentionally surround yourself with godly wisdom?

8. If someone observed your daily habits, what would they conclude about the path you are walking? What practical changes could you make to align more closely with God’s wisdom?

9. How can you encourage and challenge others in your church or community to pursue godly wisdom and guard their hearts?